Once you’ve made the break from an abusive partner it is important to remain safe.
There are lots of things we can work on together to make sure you keep yourself and any children as safe as possible. Many of our suggestions are based on our experience and that of many women we have helped.
Talk to your lawyer, or to one of our Family Support Workers, about getting a Protection Order. You can also secure a Tenancy or Occupation Order, so you can stay in your house. Our team will help you work through custody and access arrangements for your children.
Make a list of any emergency numbers you may need. This might include your local police, Women's Refuge, your doctor, a lawyer, your kids schools, plus your friends and whanau. Keep these with you. But remember, in an emergency always call 111.
If possible, get a cell phone and keep this with you. Work and Income New Zealand (WINZ) may be able to help you with this. Even a pre-pay cell phone with no money on it can be used to call in an emergency 111.
Secure your home. Change the locks, get outside lights, repair damaged windows, trim underneath bushes and trees so you can see if anyone is hiding.
If you feel comfortable doing so, tell your neighbours and friends that you have a Protection Order. Explain that the person who abused you is not allowed to come to your house. Ask them to ring the Police if they see anything suspicious.
Use your own bank account. Have your address and phone number removed from public access. Move to the unpublished Electoral Roll. Have your details removed from any council register. Contact VTNZ to ensure your vehicle licence plate is unsearchable. Remind Work and Income New Zealand (WINZ), your employer, landlord, schools and doctor to keep your details strictly confidential. Our team can help you make these changes.
Have someone else deal with the person who has abused you. Get them to handle forwarding mail, picking up or dropping off the kids, or returning property. Always take someone with you if you cannot avoid seeing the person who abused you.
Develop a plan for yourself and the children that covers what to do in any situation - home, school, shops etc - if you feel threatened. Our team can help you with safety plans. Role play and practice the plan so you and your children remember how it works.
Help your children understand what is going on. They might not need to know the details, but they do need to feel reassured.
Ask for support from friends and family.
You will always be supported by our team. If you have questions just ask. If you are ready to ask, contact us now.
Stay safe.
